Bonus mom is back!!!

I'm back!  ...

And boy does it feel good to be back!!! :)

I don't need to tell you that it's been a while since I wrote a post to my blog.  There are a lot of reasons for that.  But it feels GOOD to be back here, and be ready to be writing again.  It feels good to no longer feel like I don't know what I would write about, or like I'm not capable of writing about being a bonus mom.  It feels good to be over that hump in life.

For a while my health was REALLY bad.  I had mentioned in a previous post that I had been struggling with my health.  I have a feeling that more posts will talk about my new adventures with my healthcare and all that I am learning and how, in many ways, I am becoming more similar to my kiddo #1 in some ways since the doctors have started to figure out what is going on.  Either way, I am on my road to recovery and I am beginning to feel better.  I am so grateful to my friends, family, and kiddos for their support-- it was not an easy road.  No doubt, as things got really rough, it made it hard to want to do anything, especially blog about being a mom, when I didn't feel like a very good one on most days.

And then there is the Bio mom.  Anyone who has followed my blog knows I don't write about the Hubinator's ex-wife often.  I largely stay off of that topic unless I have nice things to say.  I try to abide by "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".  I know I am blogging online and the last thing I would want is for our kiddos to see me write something awful about their bio mom.  In my opinion that's just bad parenting.  That all said, anyone who bonus or step parents knows that it's hard work, and there are often some serious challenges that come along with the political waters between ex-wives and ex-husbands.  In the past six months the tensions have risen to points that I, never having been in this situation before I married the Hubinator, couldn't have imagined.  Ok- well perhaps I could have imagined them... but I certainly would have thought they were for movies-- not that actual people behaved those ways.  The stress level for us, and more so for our kiddos has been astronomical.  And, I have had an entirely new level of pain and sadness to learn to cope with as a bonus mom.  I have wanted to protect these two innocent children, to take t heir pain away, to stop them from being hurt, and manipulated, and emotionally used, abused, and scarred, and in this situation, as simply a bonus mom and thus... pretty incapable of making any useful changes to the situation... I feel very inadequate at protecting and parenting.  In addition, I have become the target of bio mom's attacks and she has targeted my relationship with the kiddos, as well as me as a person, and my parenting skills in general.  This hasn't helped the situation either.  So... all in all things have been rough, and ... because I haven't always been comfortable writing about this, and haven't been sure HOW to write about it, I've just avoided writing all together.  I'm still not sure if that was the right choice, but it's the one I made.

In my time away, some big things have happened.  Most significantly, I started my own business!  I am now working at home selling Scentsy Family products.  For those who aren't aware or haven't heard of Scentsy Family, Inc.  it started out as a wickless candle company.  It has now expanded into multiple brands.  I sell Scentsy Fragrance which includes our wickless candle warmers, scent bars, other scent accessories, Buddies (stuffed animals), and our Layer's line -- which is a bath and body line of products.  I also sell our Velata brand-- which is a fun Fondue line featuring Premium Belgian Chocolate, Creamy Cheesy Fondue, and Fondue warmers and accessories.   I cannot begin to tell you how great this has been!  I am bringing in money again to help support the family which is great for all of us, but great for my sense of self.  I am learning about business through the many trainings they offer.  I am making TONS of friends which is fantastic.  It's been a great boost to my self esteem.  I am able to do fundraising so it's a way for me to be giving back to my community and to organizations I care about, which is incredibly important to me.  And it's great because I am able to demonstrate to the kiddos how I can be at home and still be a working mom.  I LOVE that I can be and do both.  And... the kids love Scentsy and velata too :).

Through Scentsy, I have met some other bonus moms.  It is some of those bonus moms and moms in general who have actually given me such support in the past month, that it's inspired me to start writing my blog again.  So to them, I dedicate my first post back.  Thanks to Kat, Courtney, and Jennifer :).

And if you're interested in Scentsy or Velata... check out my websites  or  find me on facebook ;)
www.angealboruk.scentsy.us  and  www.angelaboruk.velata.us
www.facebook.com/kickthewickwithangelab
www.facebook.com/funfonduewithangelab

Bonus Mom Chef Talks Love... Cupid, Hearts, and Valentines

Ah, Valentine’s Day.  

I remember when Valentine’s Day was all about school parties, and making heart-shaped “mail boxes” to hang on my school desk to collect the valentines from my class-mates.  I remember when it was about bringing treats for the party, and valentines for my friends, and gushing over the fact that the boy in my third-grade class that I had a crush on gave me the coolest valentine and wondering for days if it meant he had a crush on me too.

I remember when Valentine’s Day was about Chocolate Candy, Balloons, Teddy Bears, and Flowers... high school-- those certainly were some times.  Some of us were getting them from boyfriends, others of us were sending them back and forth to best girl friends, and others were getting them from their parents.  (I admittedly never understood why people’s parents sent them these things on Valentine’s Day to their school, and I still struggle to wrap my head around it, although as a parent I better understand the idea of teaching kids about love as a much broader concept than just romantic love... but the idea of sending this stuff to school still boggles me.)  

Then there were the times when it meant a nice dinner, still maybe some flowers, possibly some chocolates.  A hope that whatever steady boyfriend in college would plan some seriously romantic and magical evening, usually followed by some significant level of disappointment.  That was of course before the phase when I found myself single on Valentine's Day a few years in a row.  Those years I joined with the single peoples’ movement of refusing to celebrate Valentine's Day and insisted it was "only a marketing scheme orchestrated by Hallmark".  

Eventually I started dating again and I eased up on all of this ridiculousness, from one end to the other of the spectrum, and Valentine’s Day just became a day like any other.  This is because I realized something very important to me and my own philosophy of love-- there is no point in doing anything on Valentine’s Day if we haven’t spent every other day of the year showing all of the people we love and care about in our lives how we feel about them, and how important they are to us.  Valentine’s Day is a day dedicated to this, and it can be special, but really, it shouldn’t be that much more special than our overall relationships with people in general.  

Now I am a bonus mom.   For parents Valentine's Day is about a lot more.  It’s about our spouses and finding a special way to recognize the love we share with them.  It’s also about us finding a special way to be sure to let our kiddos know how much we love them and let them know on that day that they have a special piece of our hearts.  And of course it’s about us teaching our kiddos what love and Valentine’s Day is all about.  It’s our chance to teach them that it is, in fact, not just a marketing thing, and that it is a day that is just a highlight of the relationships that we build and work on all year long.  Then, there will always be the fact that for parents, there is also the responsibility of helping our kiddos to make the valentines for school, for their friends, for family members; and all of the other crafts that come along with any holiday.  There are some great resources I’ve come across this year to help facilitate many of these things and I am excited to share them with you all.  

I think that teaching our kids about love is so very crucial.  Especially today when “love” is defined in some very peculiar ways by mainstream media.  I think it’s important to make sure our kids understand that love is something that we can feel towards all sorts of human beings, regardless of if we know them or not.  Love is something that we can feel towards non-human beings (animals, nature) as well.  Beyond this, I think it is important that as their age permits, we begin to help children understand that romantic love does not necessarily have anything to do with sex.  (Although I do believe that a comprehensive education on sex is also important, and it’s connection to love is vital, but love needs to be and should be taught separate from this entirely!) And the lessons go on.  

There are some great books out there that do a fantastic job at talking about love... many of them are picture books.  Picture books are great for younger kids, but I firmly believe that picture books, used in the right way, are even great conversation starters for slightly older kids.  So long as they do not feel that you’re treating them like they are younger than they are, and you choose the right book, it can still be a fun engaging way to begin a conversation.  Last week one of the blogs I followed had a great post about a selection of childrens books that are fantastic for teaching kids about love-- 14 Books about Love. These are fantastic in general, not just related to Valentine’s Day (although they work great then too!)  I remember thinking that I wanted to reference it in my Valentine’s Day Post.  You should totally check it out!  

In addition to books to help teach our children about love, and to help facilitate conversation, I am an avid supporter of the arts and I strongly believe in using the arts both as a way to directly educate and help children express their ideas and thoughts, but also as a means of helping to facilitate and start conversation in the family.  I came across a blog post by Hands On As We Grow for a homemade heartshaped birdfeeder.  I loved this craft idea because it was heart shaped thus going along with the love idea, but also because it related back to the idea that love is something that we can spread to people, and things, and animals, that we don’t know personally all that well.  I also liked it, because it was a nature craft that is perfect for these cold months.  Lets face it, nature crafts in the cold winter months aren’t always easy to come by!  This is a win in my book!  

My last Valentine’s Day resource I’d like to share with you is a blog post I came across this week, also from Hands On As We Grow, for 33 super cute kids valentines for school.  I would suggest that these don’t need to just be for school, but could also be for siblings, family friends, their friends, or family members.  What I loved about these is that they are, in fact, handmade/homemade.  I personally am always trying to teach our kiddos the value in handmade and homemade gifts.  And, if you are like many parents out there, there are at least a handful of these that you can still pull off if you are at the last minute this week realizing that you need valentines for someone!  (Oh, and mom (and dad)-- you could easily spice one of these up a little and give it to the kiddos, or to the other parent and they would love it too!)  

So, hopefully with my few memories of Valentine’s Day you’ve had some memories come back to you.  And hopefully, you also have gotten some ideas either to share with kiddos in your life, or to do yourself this Valentine’s Day or one in the future!  

Happy Valentine’s Day!  
You are ALL Loved!  

Bonus Mom Chef Introduces "Sick Mom"-- her Secret Other Half

Wow.  

It’s been awhile since I blogged.  It’s been a difficult few weeks for my family and I.  I haven’t spoken about my health on the blog yet and I guess I had made a conscious decision to do that.  It had been one area of my life where all of my health issues hadn’t affected things.  It felt like an area I had somehow preserved and kept safe and managed to keep “untainted”.  Well, there went that-- or so it feels.  

If being sick-- really sick-- is hard... the only thing harder in my opinion... is being sick and being a mom (in my case, a bonus mom).  I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things RIGHT.  I want to be the BEST bonus mom I can be.  I want to do it the right way, the best way, all the time.  I am by far my toughest critic.  So when my health gets in my way, be that a cold that has me not wanting to do that crafty activity I had promised, or skin cancer biopsies that have me feeling not quite myself, or a new seizure disorder that has me having seizures multiple times a weekend (or day) and feeling all sorts of like crap, I do not exactly consider it a valid excuse to let my parenting responsibilities go.  That’s been what my life has been like the past few months.  Well... truthfully... since August 2012.  It just has been progressively getting worse, and worse and worse.  And the doctors are continually getting more and more and more perplexed.  And my bonus kiddos are progressively getting more and more and more confused and frustrated as to why their bonus mom isn’t her “fun” and/or “normal” self.  

Lately we’d been making some headway with some specialists and getting some tests done and we thought we were getting some answers, and then, in the last couple of weeks the seizures really ramped up.  And then this past weekend, I started having some cardiac issues-- serious cardiac issues, and spent a good 12 hours in the Emergency Room having many tests done with some very wonderful, but very concerned doctors and nurses (not to mention one very concerned Hubinator!).  

So this brings me to this post.  I went on a bit of a hiatus for a little while (a couple weeks), but I’m back :).  Truthfully, this blog brings me joy.  It gives me something that I can still do, despite the limitations I have upon myself, and that feels good.  And, now that I have opened up as to this ultra personal part about myself … I can also blog about what it’s like to be a bonus mom who is also struggling with some health issues in her life... because lets face it-- that’s not easy, and there are a number of mom’s out there (bonus and bio) … and dads for that matter... who are dealing with those challenges everyday!  

Happy Mid-February Everyone!  I’m glad to be back and I’m looking forward to the next posts!  I have some fun ones planned for us!  

Comparing Pets and Children... Yup... I did it!

Life with dogs is never boring.

Goodness knows bonus kiddos keep you on your toes at all times too. This afternoon for example, I am reminded that they never let you forget to feed them,  The dogs!  I am talking about the dogs... the dogs never let me forget to feed them.  Honestly, I’m good about remembering to feed kiddo #1 and kiddo #2, I swear!  Although, they too are very much like the dogs in that the kiddos and the dogs both start begging for food hours before it’s meal time.  The difference is that the kiddos have snack time, the dogs do not.  The other difference is that the dogs eat their “dinner” at 3pm-- the kids are still at school lol!  

Alright, so at this point I can hear some of you already.  “She is not comparing her (bonus) children to animals *GASP*!”  Yes.  I am.  That is right folks.  Getting married.  Becoming a bonus mom.  LOVING being a mom.  None of that has changed my opinio.  Nor has it caused me to have some sort of enlightenment or epiphany about the act of comparing children to pets.  

So to my dear friends and family who have gotten your underoos tangled over this in the past, readers who may be pulling at tangles from unmentionable places as I type now, and others, all or any of whom have hypothesized that it was because I was some sort of *insert nasty term/adjective here*-single-childless-pet-owning-person and that I just didn’t understand that it was wrong.  Nope.  I love motherhood.  L.O.V.E. it.  I love motherhood down to the very fibers and cells that make up my being.  I love my bonus children more than life itself.  Some people can’t understand that, and that is ok.  Some people sometimes doubt how someone who didn’t physically birth a child could feel that way (note they don’t doubt it about parents of adopted children, or other non-traditional families, but only of step and blended families, but I digress).  Regardless, I know how I feel and I reassure you, there is nothing wrong intrinsically with comparing children and pet ownership.  There are differences, I don’t deny that.  And saying there are similarities doesn’t suddenly turn your child into flat faced, although undeniably adorable, little pugs with bulging eyeballs. If you think it does, perhaps the problem is not with me not following social parenting protocols, but with your insecurities of yourself and your child.  Oh, I wasn’t supposed to say that either, was I?  Ok, well then lets resume the topic I was discussing originally... how my bonus kids are like, and unlike, my dogs :).  

As I was about to say, unlike my bonus kiddos, our dogs will eat almost anything.  This includes things that aren’t supposed to be edible lol.  Like burnt rice.  Yesterday I attempted to cook some rice ahead of time because we had a 4:40pm appointment to be at, so I figured I’d cook everything, rice included, ahead of time, and then just heat dinner up again when we got back.  Of course, I was also trying to do everything else I needed to be doing, and as I often do when I’m not paying attention to rice, I burnt it.  I know, it’s an amazing skill.  I am not sure exactly how I burn rice so consistently either, it’s ok to be shaking your head right now, no judgement from me.  Sometimes I think I should begin to do experiments on things to do only with burnt rice because... there has to be other people out there doing that if I am doing it, right?  I of course saved it, and asked the Hubinator to try it when he got home.  Such a lucky man, the Hubinator.  Usually he gets to try sauces, and stews, and chilis, and rice pilafs that taste yummy, but sometimes, I save him the stuff like burnt rice!  mmm Yu...ck!  The last time I did this, I scooped out the rice that looked normal and tried to pass it off.  It had that horrible taste that burnt popcorn has.  He didn’t fall for it.  Dinner was ruined.  This time I admitted what I had done, but asked him to taste it before I had to throw it all away.  Of course, it tasted horrible again.  Before I threw it away, he had the brilliant idea to save it and mix it in with the dog’s food.  The hubinator always has great ideas, but sometimes they really are out of this world original.  He knows I do not like to waste food, even when I have burnt it and no one would eat it.  And he knows I like to make my dogs happy.  He was really thinking this time.  I wouldn’t have thought of this one.  Rice doesn’t upset their tummies, but they still think they are getting some amazing people food.  Such a great idea!  And what a dog food-stretcher too.  That stuff is not cheap, so of course the thrifty part of Bonus Mom Chef also got all geeked out too!  This is where we get to this thing is not like the other.  That is, the kiddos would have never eaten it lol.  Not only did the dogs eat it today, they picked the rice out and stuck their noses up at the kibble as if it was burnt haha.  Oh, haha, I guess that is one way the dogs and the kids are the same; I bet if I had put kibble in front of the kiddos today, they would have also stuck their noses up in the air!  

Another way the dogs and kiddo #2 is the same... if you feed the dogs or kiddo #2 sausage... you should prepare to wear a gas mask that evening.  LOL!  

I like these comparisons as I often draw them and giggle because I know it’s taboo amongst some parenting crowds to do it.  I think I’ll make it a habit to continue these posts every so often :)   I hope you enjoyed :) If you compare your kids to your pets, drop me a comment and let me know how they are similar or different!  I can’t wait to hear your thoughts :)

My Ears Bleed and My Heart Breaks

Struggling.

I said the next post would be a couponing 101 post.  I’m afraid that’s going to wait, because I need to write something else tonight, but I promise that couponing 101 is in the works!  

I’m struggling.  So far Bonus Mom Chef has been mostly glitter and sparkles, puppy dogs, ice cream and rainbows... … … but lets face it, we all know that blended families have a darker side.  Heck parenting in general has a darker side.  It’s a lot of hard work, a whole lot of challenges, and we as parents have to hold on to all of the little bright shiny moments, as small as they may be, to get us through the louder, tougher moments.  That’s not to say there aren’t fantastic moments also-- just that during certain points in our children’s lives, they occur much less often.  In our household, we are in one of those “challenging” and “much less often” periods.  Everyone.Is.Feeling.It.  It breaks your heart as a parent- or at least it does for the Hubinator and I.  We want our children to be healthy and happy.  We also know we have responsibilities to raise responsibly and healthy, respectful kids who become well functioning adults and citizens.  The nature of that process means that you’re going to get kids who are unhappy.  

I could go on for a while, but let me get to the point.  Specifically I’m struggling tonight over something that has been building in me, and in our household.  Part of me wonders if this might not be part of the problem.  I continually address it to the best of my ability each time that it comes up, but it generally gets blown off by whichever kiddo is the “offender” (usually our youngest).  

Our son, who will be twelve in a few months, has a not-so-great habit of jokingly referring to situations and/or people as “suicidal”, or “attempts to kill one’s self/ his-self/ her-self”.  I have zero tolerance for this.  I find it absolutely repulsive.  If it were up to me It would be treated the same as if he had dropped the N-word or some other totally offensive four letter word, or the R-word in our home.  Unfortunately, I am not getting the same reaction from the Hubinator as he doesn’t have as strong of feelings regarding this issue.  And that is ok-- parents do not always have to agree.  I want to stress that in here.  The Hubinator and I often do not always see totally eye to eye and yet we have a magical way of working things out.  I love that about the way we parent together.  This situation however, is making me really uncomfortable.  Nauseated even, when it happens.  

We all know the rate of suicide amongst youth.  We all know the rate of depression amongst youth.  The chances that my bonus son knows, or will soon know, someone in his middle school who has some sort of suicidal feelings are pretty high.  It is terribly sad and my eyes fill with tears as I write this as my heart breaks thinking about this other child-- but it’s a fact.  My heart breaks even more so with the thought that it is our son whose thoughtless, careless and ignorant behavior and words could be heard by this individual and be so damaging.  Is my son only eleven?  Yes.  But there are other children his age, in his school, dealing with these issues.  In addition, it is now in his regular vocabulary to throw around these terms and phrases.  So then is it not my responsibility as a parent to educate him as to how inappropriate those words are, and how serious the issues that he is making light are, and why it’s completely and totally unacceptable in our home and family to do such?  Isn’t it my job to set a moral and ethical bar for our children to live up to?  Not my job alone- I’m bonus mom, I get that.  

Is this one of those times that I’m overstepping my role?  If so-- then how does a bonus mom/ step- parent deal with that sort of feeling and fact and internal conflict?  

This is not one of those blog posts that ends in a neatly tied up bow and conclusion.  This unfortunately does not have an answer... yet.  Hopefully one day I’ll post that we figured out how to handle this in our home.  If we do, I’ll certainly update!  

In the meantime, if any of you have suggestions, comments, feelings, ideas, opinions, etc., please feel free to leave them in the comments. :)  

Confession: Bonus Mom Chef is a crazy couponing mom!

At first it was just a fascination. That is, I was just fascinated with the Extreme Couponing show that took many people by surprise.  Just like so many of us have realized, once that show began to air, stores began to change their coupon policies, and manufacturers began to crack down on coupon policies in order to make it harder for individuals to be able to do that sort of extreme couponing.  That doesn’t, however, mean that you can’t still get some pretty awesome deals... and even steals!  It does mean that you aren’t going to get truckloads of cereal for free.  Frankly, not many of us need truckloads of cereal for free.  This blog post is about how I have learned to reduce the costs of my family’s average grocery and consumable bill.  That is-- reducing how much we spend on eating, cleaning, washing, wiping... the things we do every month.  

So as I said, I first became fascinated with the extreme couponers based on the TV show Extreme Couponing.  When I say “i first became fascinated” I mean-- I loved watching the show, but I always told myself that “I don’t have time to do that” and “I don’t need that much of that stuff” and “I don’t have those same stores around me”.  I found every excuse in the book as to why there was no way I could ever do that.  Oh, don’t forget “I have no where to keep all that crap”.  I just loved seeing other people do it, and dreaming about saving all that money.  So for a couple of years, before I was married, I just watched the show in envy of what others did.  

Then as I began dating the Hubinator and realizing just HOW MUCH money it takes to feed, cover, clean, wash, and wipe a family I started to pay more attention to the show.  I still felt totally overwhelmed with the time it took these people, the methods they used-- climbing into dumpsters, searching on websites for coupons, using large paper cutters, enlisting friends and children to help, calling friends to stand in line with them at the check out, getting moving trucks to get their groceries home, storing dry goods in their children's bedrooms, etc.  There was more of a desire to save the money though as I knew that we really could use the help and needed to be saving money. 
 It was only a matter of time...

Once I was moved in, and married, and a part of the household, grocery lists and grocery shopping was my job.  It happened to work out that I usually did the cooking.  This was fine-- I am good at it, I love doing it, and I was typically home in the afternoon, so it made a lot more sense for me to start dinner.   This also meant that it makes a lot more sense if I am the one who then makes the list(s) since I know what we need.  As such, it then left the “how much we are spending” on my shoulders.  So one day I convinced the Hubinator to sit down and watch one of these “extreme couponing” shows with me.  

Now, something you need to know about the Hubinator is that he’s very critically minded.  He’s logical.  He’s always looking for the science behind the magician’s magic- if you will.  So when these people claimed they were getting things for free-- he had a very hard time believing that.  In addition, he had the same reactions I did-- “How much time are they spending doing it?”, “They are going through dumpsters?!”, “How is this possible?”, “This doesn’t seem logical- at all!”.  

Something else you need to know about the Hubinator is that he doesn’t stop at being skeptical!  He’s always out to find the truth.  So, he began investigating and looking into these things.  Of course, he wanted to remain as open minded as possible, and because he’s a good hubinator and knew I was interested in this, he agreed to watch a few more episodes of the show to try to understand what on earth his wife was up to and had gotten into her brain waves.  

In my defense, I did tell him from the very beginning that I wasn’t interested in doing it to the extent that these individuals did couponing, but I wanted him to see the show so that he understood that we could save more than a couple dollars.  I wanted him to understand that I believed there was an opportunity for real savings here.  

In our investigations we learned that, as I explained a bit earlier, the manufacturers have changed a lot of their policies since Extreme Couponing began originally airing.  Most, if not all,  stores also have changed their coupon policies.  In addition, many coupon clearing houses have also changed their policies and have seriously cracked down on couponers.    

What this meant for me, was that I knew a few people who did coupon in this “crazy” way already.  So I wanted to find out where they had learned about it.  I also wanted to find resources that were out there on how to legitimately do it -- how to do it legally.  I wanted to find out what the new policies were, since the ones in the show weren’t correct.  

In the meantime, after a few more episodes... Hubinator was really warming up to the idea of saving money on the monthly “haul” as we called it :).  These were exciting times!  

So, I did a LOT of research.  

I talked to my friends who were doing the couponing thing.  I talked to them about what websites they followed, what Facebook pages they “liked” and got updates from.  Everyone kept talking about The Krazy Coupon Lady.  In addition to her blog and website which is amazing and very informative.  She has a facebook also which gives you updates to everything that is currently going on sale and also has coupons available to double up with it.  (*note- the idea of pairing coupons with sales is key and one I’ll be discussing in my next blog post “Bonus Mom Chef on Couponing 101”)

After doing my research I decided to give it a go.  I went out bought a sunday paper, clipped coupons, checked all of the ads, used my mperks (The coupon program through Meijer) and in September, we did our first try at it.  And I did a pretty decent job at saving.  I didn’t really save receipts or anything yet at that point.  I remember it was about 30% I saved total.  Not too shabby.  That was from coupons/sales etc. all combined.  

In October I did everything the same as September and had similar success.

November changed it all...

In November we had Thanksgiving that we were buying for and the pressure was on.  I spent extra time scouring the ads, comparison shopping.  I had also learned about online coupons by this point (www.coupons.com is the best site I’ve found so far).  I also had found that certain products will offer coupons on their facebook page, etc.  As a household with a child who eats Gluten-Free this is a big deal as we now get $1 off coupons for many gluten free products each month which adds up.  

In November we saved more than we spent in our monthly haul!  This was HUGE!!!  This is the first month that I began saving all of my receipts.  This is also the first month that I started making notes of how much things went on sale for, as well as their base price so that I could make note of when something was a good sale etc.  

December came around and it was the holiday season and the pressure was even more so on than it had been the month before.  Once again I did all of the same things I had in the month before, including the online coupons.  For a second month in a row, I saved roughly what we spent.  In addition, the Hubinator needed a winter coat and we got a $140 winter coat for less than $30 pairing sales, clearance, mperks, free shipping, etc.  

It is important to note that unlike some of the more experienced couponing individuals, until recently I had only carried the coupons that I would be using with me.  Then, one day the Hubinator and I stopped at the store to pick up two things in a “quick visit” between monthly hauls.  I had the two coupons I would need.  And because I didn’t have my other coupons with me, we missed out on some other great buys.  It was in that visit that the Hubinator said to me “you need to get yourself one of those coupon binders”.  He was referencing the coupon binders that the other couponers carry.  So... before January’s haul, I came home and created something that would organize my coupons.  I did not want to spend the money on a binder just yet.  So I came up with an organizational system that isn’t as great because you can’t see everything which isn’t as easy in the store, but that did work, and it was tested in January, and it will work just fine until the day when I do decide to spend the money on a Binder (maybe it’d be a good mother’s day gift -- hint hint!).  

Most recently, this month I was able to save MORE than we spent.  What this means is that we came home with a total value in product (groceries, toilet paper, pet food, paper towel, soap, etc.) that was more than double what we paid.  This month, the value of what we saved, was more than the value of what we spent.  So we got more in free stuff, than we ended up paying for.  AMAZING!  And-- because I’m careful and planning things out, I’m only buying things that we’d use anyways, so I’m not using coupons “just because I have them”-- which I do believe is a common trap that manufacturers expect consumers to fall into.  

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and just generally the overall quality of meals in our house wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for these newly gained skills that I am so thankful for.  I love seeing how much I can save.  But I love even more seeing how much I more the hubinator and I can provide for our family by me learning these new skills.  

Teaching "couponing".

I have also had the opportunity to share these skills recently with a couple of friends, two of them who are partnered together, and one friend who has a family of her own and is interested in learning what we are doing so she can start to save money for her husband and sons.  It was through this sharing that I decided that this really needed to be a blog entry.  It’s a big part of my life, and my family.  Beyond that, others could be learning from it.  It’s a skill that you have to learn.  I had to be inspired, and then go out and hunt down the information.  As such, my next blog post will be a “couponing 101” that I’ve written up that I’ve given to the two aforementioned groups of friends who have asked for my “how to” to get them started.  Hopefully this will inspire someone else out there.  

If you’re couponing, big or little, i’d love to hear from you!  If this inspires you, please leave a comment and let me know.  If you would like help getting started, I’d be more than happy to lend a hand!  Just ask :)  

I'd Be Willing To Sell an Organ If...

Feeling helpless as a parent seriously sucks.  I personally think it sucks more as a bonus parent as I personally feel like the pressure is always on to do and be as perfect as possible all the time and always be proving my "parental"-ness if you will.  Tonight that's just not working out for me.  More than that, it's not working out for kiddo #2.

Kiddo #2 is sick :(. By far the hardest thing about being a mom since I have started this bonus mom adventure has been having sick kids. All I want to do is to make it go away for them. When they are sick, or hurt, something inside of me is breaking in a way that I can't possibly explain. It's the most awful thing-- ever. Parents get this, I know that. I didn't understand it until I became a parent. Sure, I empathized with people and children before that! But this, lordy, this is totally different. There are moments when kiddo #2 is throwing up that I"d sell my organs if it meant she felt better and it would stop what she was experiencing and feeling at that instant, right then, right there.


Poor kiddo... I hope she feels better soon. There is only so much tummy tea I can make and so many times I can say "is there anything else I can do for you?"  Bowls, blankets, pillows, fan on, fan off.  My skills seem pretty limited right now.